A Bittersweet Goodbye

A few days ago I had to say goodbye not just to the place I've come to love but the people who have become family to me. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. A bittersweet goodbye. I lived in India for six and a half years. It was the place I grew up in. The place I first understood God's grace and love for me. The place I was surrounded by people who loved me and encouraged me. The place I called home. Tuesday morning I left that place, for an indefinite time, to return to the US for college. I know moving forward God has great plans for me. He will give me the strength I need, the hope, and He will guide my path. It's still a struggle though. There are so many things I have to learn, to adjust to. So many things I miss more than I ever imagined. In the end though, God is still God. Through it all, I will keep my eyes fixed upon Him. No matter how hard things are.

There is a song that says:

"When no one wants to know you

When no one wants to claim you

When no one wants to look deep in your eyes

When those you love give you up

When those you love hurt you so bad you can't stand to fight back

Well, I've known that darkest hour

That's where I found true love

Jesus lifted me from the dead of night

And He'll never give me up."

Have you experienced hurt like that? Have YOU known that darkest hour? I'm sure if you searched your heart, you'd say yes. You may not even have to search long; something may come to mind right away. You are not the only one though. Others have experienced hurt. Others have experienced a dark hour. 

Few people know this about me, but the stars are magical to me. When I see the stars, I see the beauty of God's creation. I see more than just that though. I see God's love. I see an amazing Father who placed the stars in the sky and knows each by name, but still chose to create me. To create you.

As the sky is overcast tonight and there are no stars visible, I'm reminded of that darkest hour in my life. My entire life was as pitch black as the night sky; as far as I could see, as far as I could run, there was no way out of the dark. There was no way of escaping the hurt I felt deep inside.

It was in that darkness that I found love and grace. God had greater plans than leaving me alone to die in darkness. He became my light and guide, just like the moon in the night sky. He placed others in my life to encourage me and shine by me, just like the stars above. God created something more magical than a starry night in my life. He created a consuming fire of love.

"I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them." - Isaiah 42:16