A close friend, Rachel, whom I've grown up with, blessed me by writing her college application essay about me. This was a huge encouragement and extremely humbling. With her permission I am sharing her essay:

"What does it mean to be inspired? There is the obvious definition that it pushes you to be greater than you believe you can be or to take risks that you would otherwise avoid. Perhaps it is go places that seem beyond reach? Maybe it’s even to leave the safe, satisfying comforts of home and follow your parents to a place half a world away where many languages are spoken and you don’t know any of them. It is these last two that tell the story of an amazing young lady that I have known since I was two years old – Victoria Ward.
Victoria was, and still is, my best friend, my other half, the one person I can tell anything and everything to and I know she will listen and never judge me. She celebrates my accomplishments and comforts me when I'm in pain. She always wants to know how I'm doing and calls as much as possible just to talk. As kids, the two of us were inseparable. We hung out almost every weekend and always found new adventures to go on together. The saying “great minds think alike” described our friendship perfectly. We were always coming up with new and inventive games to play, stories to tell, food to make, and pictures to draw. We did everything from dress-up, to lemonade stands and car washes, to elaborate games of hide-and-go-seek.
Everything was exactly the way it should be and neither of us thought anything would change. We were going to be best friends forever. Then we found out news that would change our lives forever; Victoria was moving half-way around the world to India. I was devastated. I didn't understand why she was being forced to just drop everything and move to an entirely new continent thousands of miles away from all of her friends and family. The day she left was one of the worst days of my life. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I was lost and confused and didn't know what I was going to do now that my other half was an entire ocean away from me.
As I look back on it I realize that many of those emotions and fears were because I was young. But, so was Victoria and yet, she went willingly. She showed a type of bravery I didn't even know was possible but she had it. She had to start her life completely over, something that can hurt some people deeply but Victoria stayed strong through it all. Her attitude inspired me to strive to be like her. I realized if she could stay strong through something as momentous as moving to India then I could stay strong in my own way back at home. It was because of her that I began to branch out and take chances. I learned I had to believe in myself before I could accomplish anything.
After Victoria had been gone for a while we were given the opportunity to travel to India to see her and to work with villages in the surrounding area. I was scared! My Dad was going as well so I knew I would be safe but it meant so much to me that Victoria has already traveled so far and was learning a new culture and fitting in with those around her. While we were there we had a potentially dangerous encounter with some soldiers who threatened to blow up our bus if we didn't leave the village immediately! Victoria and I were so scared! Victoria even started crying and even though she was scared she never once asked to go home because she knew India was where her family belonged. She knew that even though it was frightening she had to stay strong. Right then I learned another lesson from Victoria that continues to inspire me even though this was over seven years ago. If she could agree to stay in India even after being threatened by soldiers with big guns, then I could stay strong back at home with the simple things that were expected of me and the things I wanted to accomplish. What a great friend and what a wonderful example of bravery. Victoria is the best!
That trip meant so much to me. It was more than a week in a country on the other side of the world. As I reflect I realize that it was a crucial step in becoming much more than I ever thought I could be. I could go to far away places and meet people who looked and talked different than me. I could speak about my faith in a way that meant something to someone. If I can handle that then just think about what I can do at home where life is much simpler and safer. Thanks to Victoria she gave me a life changing experience that I will never forget and because of her I have learned what I can do if I just stay strong, open minded, and focused on the things that I am called to do no matter where it might lead me. Victoria continues to inspire me everyday to be a strong, independent person. I know she has been a part of life by design and has been so much more than a friend. I could not be more thankful to have such a blessing in my life."

Thank you, Rachel, for letting God use you and for being a part of my life. I'm praying that God will continue using you to encourage others and make an impact on their life. I love you, girl!

When my heart won’t make a sound

When I can’t turn back around

When the sky is falling down

When hope cannot be found

Give me all the love and peace

Give me something I can be

Give me the way out

Give me the faith I need

When the stars are fading

When I am waiting

When the hard times come

When I can’t feel that You’re around

Give me something brighter

Give me something to sing

Give me the motivation

Give me something I can see

     Over the past several months, as time creeps closer for me to move back to the US, I’ve spent a lot of time wondering about what is to come. I wonder how I will fit into a culture that is no longer part of my life, and that I don’t necessarily fully understand. I wonder what people will think when they find out that music, movies, actors/actresses, comedians, and phrases aren’t something I follow or understand. I wonder if I’ll ever readjust to having the AC everywhere I go, and if I’ll ever think the weather is hot again.

     Honestly, I’ve been afraid, afraid to face all that is to come. I’ve sat around being afraid and worrying about all the things that are yet to come. What have I gained by worrying? Absolutely nothing! Once I realized I gain nothing by worrying, it struck me that I’ve no reason to worry. It isn’t my job to worry, God didn’t create me to sit and worry so much that I scare myself. Instead, He created me to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33).

     If I seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, I’ve nothing to lose but everything to gain. I gain the knowledge that my identity is in Him who washed away my sins by His blood. I realize that I, Victoria Ward, am a child of God. When I seek first the kingdom of God, the old goes and the new comes. I’ve no reason to worry anymore because I know who I am in Christ and who He has created me to be.

                Home. That word use to strike up three questions in my mind: Where is home? Is home in the US? Or is home in India? The simple word “home” made me feel so lost, and why couldn’t I figure out the answer to the question? Was it seriously so hard? No, I was just looking in all the wrong places.

                You see, last week I finally figured it out. Home is nowhere on earth. Home isn’t in the US or even India. Home is in heaven with God. I finally really understood the following verse:

“They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth. As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they also may be sanctified by the truth.” John 17:16-19

I’m not of this world! I, Victoria Ward, am a child of God! My home is in heaven with my Father, not here on earth. The joy of realizing something so simple, was a joy I could not describe.

                So let me ask you this: How often do we get caught up in such confusion and turmoil of the world, that we cannot even realize something as simple as the location of our home? How often do we fail to recognize our identity in God as His children?

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

Sometimes I need to know You hold the stars

But right now I need for You

To be small enough to hold my heart

You’re big enough to change my heart

You’re big enough to save the world

Yet, You still know me

Sometimes I need Your voice to calm the seas

But right now I need for You

To calm the raging storm inside me

As the clouds unleash their darkest wrath

My fears are replaced with doubt

Yet, Your love will outshine

Sometimes I need to know Your arms hold the universe

But right now I need for You

To be a comforting father

The pain is much too real

And the hurt inside is all I feel

Yet, You’ll dry my tears

Sometimes I need Your grace to rescue me

But right now I need for You

To hold me together

You hear my gentle whispers

You see the weight I’m under

Yet , You’ll let this make me stronger

The pain is much too real

The hurt inside is all I feel

But one day You’ll dry my tears

You hear my gentle whispers

You see the weight I’m under

So let this make me stronger

In these times of trouble

In these times of sorrow

May Your love burn through

     As most of you know, I  have been sick for the last two weeks. If you did not know, then I will quickly fill you in. Two weeks ago I found out that I had E. Coli which had spread into my kidneys. I was immediately started on antibiotics which would be given to me twice a day for five days, all through an IV port which had to remain in my arm during this time period; I was also taking antibiotics orally. After the five days were up we went back to the doctor to find out the E. Coli is still in my system. I have been put on more antibiotics, but they do not really seem to be helping. I am ALWAYS tired, the couch has become my new home, and I've watched more movies in these past two weeks than I've ever seen in my entire life. Although I've been a complete couch-potato, God has still taught me a lot through all of this.

     There has been a few times I have given up all hope on getting well and broken down into tears, but each time God has placed someone there to encourage me. He has let me see the love my grandparents have for me as they have sent prayer requests out frequently. He has shown me the faith my family and friends have that I sincerely long for. Of all the things He has shown me, though, my mind continues to wander back to the encouraging words I've received from others. 

     I've received so many emails with prayers and encouraging words over the past two weeks. I've gotten emails from people who are close to me, people I've never met before, and people in a variety of places around the world. Some of the emails have made me want to cry, others have made me laugh. All of them, though, showed me how God loves me.

     Here is a few messages which really encouraged me to continue trusting God with my health:

And, yes, our group is praying specifically that God will reach down from
Heaven and dip His wonderful finger into your kidney and release all the
ecoli out of your kidney and restore it to health.

Do you believe He could? Do you believe He wants to? Well, my precious
little girl, He can and He wants to. We are holding on to our faith that He
can and will do just that! 

 (Thank you, Mrs. Lee!)

We're so sorry to hear the news. Debbie is exactly right----this precious family has put all their heart into doing God's work there, it's succeeding and the devil hates it. We will kick up our prayers for them, as well as for you who is surely hurting to see their loved ones under attack. Thank you for the update. 

(Thank you, Mr. Carr)

     Yesterday I was listening to a radio station on Itunes that plays wonderful Jazz, Country Swing, and Big Band music. One of the songs that played said, "The Devil works twenty-four hours a day, he never does rest." As I read my cousin Fred's email:

Thanks for the updates. Will forward to my prayer chains and tell them to Turn Volume UP. With God's help we will kick the Devils butt!!!!! 

I not only thought of the phrase above, but I also thought of the famous song The Devil Went Down to Georgia. If you have not heard this song, you are seriously missing out! You see, the Devil went down to Georgia and made a bet with Johnny. Johnny told the Devil he may be good at the fiddle, but Johnny is the best in town. In the end, Johnny beats the Devil.

     Now, I'm not making any bets with the Devil here, but even if I did... I know I would win, because I got one AWESOME God on my side who always has my back. God has a plan and He's already using my sickness to teach me (and hopefully some of ya'll) wonderful things. 

*I thank each of you who have prayed for me. I thank each of you who have asked others to pray for me. And I thank each of you who have encouraged me and my family members.

Words can’t define You

They fail to describe You

You are more than all I can say

Calling out, Your voice is like thunder

Oceans roar at Your changing tide

And the world trembles at Your wonder

Lord, if I could just reach my arms around You

We would dance away the night

And I would never leave Your side

You have emptied my hands

Filled up my heart

And captured my mind

You break me down

You set my heart aglow

Yet in the end, You are more than enough.